Joys that Hunnibug (and company) will never know
Question:
Good thing I’m not bringing you the beer, Tony–you’d be getting a great beer hair conditioner! :0) Tony Morency wrote: > On 12 Jan 1999 02:03:54 GMT, mdixon1…@aol.com (MDixon1918) wrote: > >Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy! > > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. > > Movie nudity is virtually always female. > ——————->8 snip > I love it! I’d like to add one: > Your beer is open when she brings it. > CYA
– Save the President! Legalize perjury!
Response:
> Hunnibug said… > You’re always 100% positive that the baby is yours
I don’t know if this was meant to be funny or not, but ROFLMAO Tamara
Response:
Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy! Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Movie nudity is virtually always female. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. Monday Night Football. You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. Old friends don’t give a crap whether you’ve lost or gained weight. Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind. When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall at every shot of somebody crying. All your orgasms are real. Guy in hockey masks don’t attack you (unless you smash ‘em into the boards). You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. Your last name stays put. You can leave the hotel bed unmade. When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. You can kill your own food. The garage is all yours. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow. You never have to clean a toilet. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. Sex means never worrying about your reputation. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. You don’t have to shave below your neck. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night. If you’re 34 and single, nobody even notices. You can write your name in the snow. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat. Flowers fix everything. You never have to worry about other people’s feelings. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough. Foreplay is optional. Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader’s coming by. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You don’t give a rat’s butt if anyone notices your new haircut. You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me." The world is your urinal. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover’s about to leave you. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. One mood, all the time. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one’s just too skeevy. you know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you’re wearing. Same work…more pay! Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75. You don’t care if someone’s talking about you behind your back. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth’s population in 15 tries, at least in theory. The remote control is yours and yours alone. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them. ESPN’s SportsCenter. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. You needn’t pretend you’re "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell your other friends you’ve changed. Someday you’ll be a dirty old man. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it." If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies. Princess Di’s death was just another obituary. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you’re not in the mood. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room. New shoes don’t blister, cut, and mangle your feet. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries. Not liking a person won’t stop you from having great sex with them. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So…notice anything different?" Baywatch There’s always a game on somewhere.
Response:
On 12 Jan 1999 02:03:54 GMT, mdixon1…@aol.com (MDixon1918) wrote: >Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy! > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. > Movie nudity is virtually always female.
——————->8 snip I love it! I’d like to add one: Your beer is open when she brings it. CYA
Response:
MDixon1918 wrote:
<snip hilariously true list!> ROTFLMAO!!!! JoeG
Response:
OK, my list isn’t as long, but at least there’s a list: Reasons it’s great to be a girl: You can get out of traffic tickets You don’t have to pay when you go out You’re not afraid to ask for help You’re not afraid to ask for directions You can wear clothes of either sex and look great Nobody asks you to lift or carry heavy things Nobody asks you to help them move Nobody asks you to fix their car You will never get drafted into the army You can cry any time you want You know where everything is in your house You always know if the dishwasher is "clean" or "dirty" You can discuss anything with your friends, no matter how intimate You can blame anything on "that time of the month" You learn to care for kids ahead of time by caring for your husband You’re always 100% positive that the baby is yours Hunnibug – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy! > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. > Movie nudity is virtually always female. > A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. > Monday Night Football. > You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives. > Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. > Old friends don’t give a crap whether you’ve lost or gained weight. > Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind. > When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall at >every shot of somebody crying. > All your orgasms are real. > Guy in hockey masks don’t attack you (unless you smash ‘em into >the boards). > You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere >you go. > You can go to the bathroom without a support group. > Your last name stays put. > You can leave the hotel bed unmade. > When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that >everyone secretly hates you. > You can kill your own food. > The garage is all yours. > You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. > Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow. > You never have to clean a toilet. > You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. > Sex means never worrying about your reputation. > Wedding plans take care of themselves. > If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can >still be your friend. > Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. > You don’t have to shave below your neck. > None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry. > You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night. > If you’re 34 and single, nobody even notices. > You can write your name in the snow. > You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. > Everything on your face gets to stay its original color. > Chocolate is just another snack. > You can be president. > You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat. > Flowers fix everything. > You never have to worry about other people’s feelings. > You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. > You can wear a white shirt to a water park. > Three pairs of shoes is more than enough. > Foreplay is optional. > Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe. > Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. > You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. > You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader’s >coming by. > You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. > Car mechanics tell you the truth. > You don’t give a rat’s butt if anyone notices your new haircut. > You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without >ever thinking, "He must be mad at me." > The world is your urinal. > You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover’s >about to leave you. > Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. > One mood, all the time. > You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look >like him. > You never have to drive on to another gas station because this >one’s just too skeevy. > you know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. > You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you’re wearing. > Same work…more pay! > Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. > You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch >adjustment. > Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75. > You don’t care if someone’s talking about you behind your back. > With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth’s >population in 15 tries, at least in theory. > The remote control is yours and yours alone. > People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them. > ESPN’s SportsCenter. > You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little >gift. > Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers. > You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. > You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. > You needn’t pretend you’re "Freshening up" to go to the >bathroom. > If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t >tell your other friends you’ve changed. > Someday you’ll be a dirty old man. > You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw >it." > If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you >just might become lifelong buddies. > Princess Di’s death was just another obituary. > You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you’re not >in the mood. > You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. > If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a >hammer or throw it across the room. > New shoes don’t blister, cut, and mangle your feet. > Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. > You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and >anniversaries. > Not liking a person won’t stop you from having great sex with >them. > Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So…notice >anything different?" > Baywatch > There’s always a game on somewhere.
Response:
Mark! For shame! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -MDixon1918 wrote: > >more…@mediaone.net > >>Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy! > >>Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. > >>Movie nudity is virtually always female. > >——————->8 snip > >I love it! I’d like to add one: > Your beer is open when she brings it. > CYA > And so — in a perfect world — is she! :-) > Mark
– Save the President! Legalize perjury!
Response:
On 12 Jan 1999 02:03:54 GMT, mdixon1…@aol.com (MDixon1918) wrote: >Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy! > You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
Yeah, right!. Kari 
Response:
>You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
I agree yeah right, When I drive my husband keeps saying "Stay between the lines" and other cutesy things. I swear you run into a few cars and they hold it against you forever. Geez Louise MEN! Oh yes and I must be half guy as well. Why is it men think we’re so needy? Are we the ones who turn three years old the minute we get sick??? Laura {24} Wife to John,Mother to Melyssa{4} and Alexander {due March1999} Poet,Legend, priestess of nothing
Response:
> Chrystynna stated… > >You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat. > I agree yeah right, When I drive my husband keeps saying "Stay between the > lines" and other cutesy things. I swear you run into a few cars and they hold > it against you forever. Geez Louise MEN! > Oh yes and I must be half guy as well. Why is it men think we’re so needy? > Are we the ones who turn three years old the minute we get sick??? > Laura {24} > Wife to John,Mother to Melyssa{4} and Alexander {due March1999} > Poet,Legend, priestess of nothing
Mine actually *complains* if I stay home from work sick and the house is a mess when he get home. I finally told him that I stayed home "sick" not "cleaning the house until it’s spotless" – I think he (at least *kinda*) got the point. Tamara *he doesn’t like to be babied when he’s sick.. and hates for me to say anything (nag) about medicine*
Response:
Chrystynna wrote: > >You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat. > I agree yeah right, When I drive my husband keeps saying "Stay between the > lines" and other cutesy things. I swear you run into a few cars and they hold > it against you forever. Geez Louise MEN!
Another testimonial that proves the first line wrong: My partner has had more speeding tickets during our time together than I have… In fact he’s, had 4 to my 0, as well as more accidents (not serious ones). When I drive, however, he’ll say, "Why do you have to drive so fast? Would you slow down?!" It *never* fails.
Response:
I don’t care for his whiny voice at all! ISIS Chrystynna wrote in message
<19990112011208.01063.00010…@ng-ce1.aol.com>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->God Forbid if Michael Bolton lived in my universe. I’d find another universe >and quick! >Laura {24} >Wife to John,Mother to Melyssa{4} and Alexander {due March1999} >Poet,Legend, priestess of nothing
Response:
>more…@mediaone.net >>Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy! >>Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. >>Movie nudity is virtually always female. >——————->8 snip >I love it! I’d like to add one:
Your beer is open when she brings it. CYA And so — in a perfect world — is she! :-) Mark
Response:
Yeah, I think most of them are supposed to be funny. But that one is my favorite! :) Hunnibug – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> Hunnibug said… >> You’re always 100% positive that the baby is yours >I don’t know if this was meant to be funny or not, but ROFLMAO >Tamara
Response:
hey I never have to have a support group to go to the bathroom LOL Laura {24} Wife to John,Mother to Melyssa{4} and Alexander {due March1999} Poet,Legend, priestess of nothing
Response:
God Forbid if Michael Bolton lived in my universe. I’d find another universe and quick! Laura {24} Wife to John,Mother to Melyssa{4} and Alexander {due March1999} Poet,Legend, priestess of nothing
Response:
MDixon1918 wrote: > Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy!
Gee, I must be half guy, then. I can relate to so many of these.
Response:
Good one, Miss Cee! ISIS – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -misscee wrote in message … >morency wrote: >> Your beer is open when she brings it. >In this house it had better be cold too when he brings it. >Miss Cee
Response:
Hahahahaha. Great job, Hunnibug. Think of some more! ISIS – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Hunnibug wrote in message <19990111223044.01010.00002…@ng-cb1.aol.com>… >OK, my list isn’t as long, but at least there’s a list: >Reasons it’s great to be a girl: >You can get out of traffic tickets >You don’t have to pay when you go out >You’re not afraid to ask for help >You’re not afraid to ask for directions >You can wear clothes of either sex and look great >Nobody asks you to lift or carry heavy things >Nobody asks you to help them move >Nobody asks you to fix their car >You will never get drafted into the army >You can cry any time you want >You know where everything is in your house >You always know if the dishwasher is "clean" or "dirty" >You can discuss anything with your friends, no matter how intimate >You can blame anything on "that time of the month" >You learn to care for kids ahead of time by caring for your husband >You’re always 100% positive that the baby is yours >Hunnibug >>Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy! >> Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. >> Movie nudity is virtually always female. >> A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. >> Monday Night Football. >> You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives. >> Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. >> Old friends don’t give a crap whether you’ve lost or gained weight. >> Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind. >> When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall at >>every shot of somebody crying. >> All your orgasms are real. >> Guy in hockey masks don’t attack you (unless you smash ‘em into >>the boards). >> You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere >>you go. >> You can go to the bathroom without a support group. >> Your last name stays put. >> You can leave the hotel bed unmade. >> When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that >>everyone secretly hates you. >> You can kill your own food. >> The garage is all yours. >> You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. >> Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow. >> You never have to clean a toilet. >> You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. >> Sex means never worrying about your reputation. >> Wedding plans take care of themselves. >> If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can >>still be your friend. >> Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. >> You don’t have to shave below your neck. >> None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry. >> You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night. >> If you’re 34 and single, nobody even notices. >> You can write your name in the snow. >> You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. >> Everything on your face gets to stay its original color. >> Chocolate is just another snack. >> You can be president. >> You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat. >> Flowers fix everything. >> You never have to worry about other people’s feelings. >> You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. >> You can wear a white shirt to a water park. >> Three pairs of shoes is more than enough. >> Foreplay is optional. >> Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe. >> Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. >> You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. >> You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader’s >>coming by. >> You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. >> Car mechanics tell you the truth. >> You don’t give a rat’s butt if anyone notices your new haircut. >> You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without >>ever thinking, "He must be mad at me." >> The world is your urinal. >> You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover’s >>about to leave you. >> Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. >> One mood, all the time. >> You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look >>like him. >> You never have to drive on to another gas station because this >>one’s just too skeevy. >> you know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. >> You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you’re wearing. >> Same work…more pay! >> Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. >> You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch >>adjustment. >> Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75. >> You don’t care if someone’s talking about you behind your back. >> With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth’s >>population in 15 tries, at least in theory. >> The remote control is yours and yours alone. >> People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them. >> ESPN’s SportsCenter. >> You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little >>gift. >> Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers. >> You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. >> You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. >> You needn’t pretend you’re "Freshening up" to go to the >>bathroom. >> If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t >>tell your other friends you’ve changed. >> Someday you’ll be a dirty old man. >> You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw >>it." >> If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you >>just might become lifelong buddies. >> Princess Di’s death was just another obituary. >> You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you’re not >>in the mood. >> You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. >> If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a >>hammer or throw it across the room. >> New shoes don’t blister, cut, and mangle your feet. >> Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. >> You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and >>anniversaries. >> Not liking a person won’t stop you from having great sex with >>them. >> Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So…notice >>anything different?" >> Baywatch >> There’s always a game on somewhere.
Response:
Filed under: Wedding Dress
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